I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of “introvert
vs. extrovert” and how it’s kind of bullshit. Admittedly, I’m at that age where
I think a lot of already established ideas are bullshit, so it’s hard for me to act like this is some revolutionary
news I’m breaking to the world, but I have a lot of mixed feelings about
introvert and extrovert-related stuff.
Basically, I’ve always felt like the whole “I’m suuuuch an
introvert” line gets used way too much as this patronizing way to make people
feel like going out or wanting to hang is bad. If I took an online quiz right
now it would easily tell me I’m an “introvert” – most days I’d rather stay at home
and do my own little thing – but it frustrates me that my peers use that as
some elitist construct. Likewise, I guess, it’s bogus if someone who’s an “extrovert”
gives people a hard time for wanting to stay home, but I don’t think that’s as
big of an issue. In my logic, this sort of mimics the people-who-read-books
trend; people will take this sort of unpopular “nerd” thing, romanticize it,
then pose it as if that practice alone makes them an inherently better person.
Like, “I read books all the time, aren’t I so subversive and cool and better?” Of course, I love to read -- I think it's a beautiful, constructive, awesome way to spend time -- but
it’s annoying that people use that little detail of their personality as some
defining term to show that they’re better than you. I remember, for most of my
high school years, feeling super guilty about wanting to go out or wanting
to zone out and draw instead of reading, thinking that I was somehow
discrediting myself as a “smart intellectual person,” and looking back that’s
ridiculous!!
There are so many ways to be a “smart” person, and I guess
that’s the root of my frustration with the whole “introvert” concept: people acting
like you’re only really suitable to be an intellectual or a smart kid if you do
these certain things, feel this certain way, etc. It’s something I definitely
think we let kids get away with at Uni. If you thought that test was hard or
don’t remember know how to do this proof, or don’t have this opinion, there’s
something therefore lesser about you, and that’s so bogus!! I struggle to
personally define intelligence, but one thing I know for sure is that it isn’t determined by some singular personality quirk. There are so many ways to show your smarts, and it’s incredibly limiting when people try to cut each other off
from that just because of some minor thing. The other day, for example, I was
thinking about how smart one of my friends was just based on their ability to
problem solve, think ahead, and consider all of their options. You can be smart
and have no high school education, you can be smart and have a PhD; it’s not a
revolutionary concept, I know, but I do think we get lost in a certain
convoluted idea of intelligence at Uni with lots of intricate definers. I get flustered
if I can’t remember the capital of a state, or the type of beetle I’m pinning
in bug bio, and though it’s frustrating, most of that embarrassment comes from
these weird stigmas we’ve developed. In the same sense that Uni seems to
sensationalize talent in math, science, sports, chess, etc. and brush over the
arts, I think there’s a very particular form of “smartness” that we let
ourselves believe in.
I’ve gotten away from the idea of introverted-ness, but my
point remains the same: I don’t really like to associate with the term.
I could spend weeks and months alone, just vibing, but I love to be around my
friends and hang in large groups. I would shy away from self-identifying as an
introvert, because I don’t like what it implies: that sense of elitism, one
that seems so pervasive in Uni culture.
